Part of being a "winner" is the ability
to live, work and play with others in a congenial, constructive way.
You can help your children become successful in this important human arena
by helping them learn a few basic skills.
Learn to give criticism tactfully.
We can all criticize easily. But learning how to point out someone's
shortcomings gently, in a way that can help the person overcome them, is a
skill that can and should be learned. You can actually practice this
with your children by using this skill when it's necessary to criticize
them, and by allowing them to practice on your.
Encourage your children to be good
listeners--to make eye contact, to nod to show they understand what's
being said, and to hold their questions until the speaker is finished,
instead of interrupting.
Involve your children in family
decisions. Allowing them to help find solutions to problems, reach
compromises, and find and share new ideas will show them the value of
teamwork. And they will discover that group decisions can often be
more interesting and creative than individual decisions.
Just as you praise your children and
acknowledge their accomplishments, encourage them to do the same.
They'll find that a positive word is the best way to win friends, to
smooth over disagreements, and to have an enjoyable time with others.
In order to get along with others, your
children must learn not to be dependent on others to solve problems, they
need problems to solve. This is not as obvious as it may seem, since
many parents become uncomfortable when their children have problems and as
a result provide immediate solutions for them. Helping your children
think through their problems may take longer, but when they know they have
solved a difficult problem for themselves, their sense of self-esteem
rises dramatically. And others think more of them, too.